Sariah has not been doing exceptionally well with her speaking issue. She has been having major meltdowns lately. She yells and freaks out about the littlest things. But that's not the problem. What do you say to your daughter who is having a hard time at school making friends because she doesn't talk? She likes a girl in her class and talks a lot about her. Well that girl has a friend in the class and so she plays with her friend and TALKS with her. Sariah finally broke down in sobs tonight about how the friend of the girl does not like her and they leave her out. I asked her if she asks the girl if she wants to play. She answered with a no and said she doesn't talk to them. How do I help her???? I honestly felt my heart breaking and I was at a lost for words. This is what I have been afraid of. How does a girl who does not talk communicate with other kids that she wants to play with them? Also, how fun is it to play with a girl who doesn't talk back??? If any of you have suggestions or a book I can read, I am all for it!! She is paralyzed with fear anytime we are with other people. Okay that is all I have to say. Thanks...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
HELP!! I'm a MOM!!
You know those days where it slams you in the face that you are a mother. Most days you just live life like a glorified babysitter, you know keep them alive and hug them once in a while. But on one of "those days" when your daughter comes to you for motherly advice, you think to yourself-"Am I suppossed to know the answer to this?!" I think that this is why God gives us friends who are mothers, those friends who have mothers and He gives us our own personlized mothers who we call...mom. That is why I am coming to you for help. I need your advice, your suggestions, and your experiences.
Sariah has not been doing exceptionally well with her speaking issue. She has been having major meltdowns lately. She yells and freaks out about the littlest things. But that's not the problem. What do you say to your daughter who is having a hard time at school making friends because she doesn't talk? She likes a girl in her class and talks a lot about her. Well that girl has a friend in the class and so she plays with her friend and TALKS with her. Sariah finally broke down in sobs tonight about how the friend of the girl does not like her and they leave her out. I asked her if she asks the girl if she wants to play. She answered with a no and said she doesn't talk to them. How do I help her???? I honestly felt my heart breaking and I was at a lost for words. This is what I have been afraid of. How does a girl who does not talk communicate with other kids that she wants to play with them? Also, how fun is it to play with a girl who doesn't talk back??? If any of you have suggestions or a book I can read, I am all for it!! She is paralyzed with fear anytime we are with other people. Okay that is all I have to say. Thanks...
Sariah has not been doing exceptionally well with her speaking issue. She has been having major meltdowns lately. She yells and freaks out about the littlest things. But that's not the problem. What do you say to your daughter who is having a hard time at school making friends because she doesn't talk? She likes a girl in her class and talks a lot about her. Well that girl has a friend in the class and so she plays with her friend and TALKS with her. Sariah finally broke down in sobs tonight about how the friend of the girl does not like her and they leave her out. I asked her if she asks the girl if she wants to play. She answered with a no and said she doesn't talk to them. How do I help her???? I honestly felt my heart breaking and I was at a lost for words. This is what I have been afraid of. How does a girl who does not talk communicate with other kids that she wants to play with them? Also, how fun is it to play with a girl who doesn't talk back??? If any of you have suggestions or a book I can read, I am all for it!! She is paralyzed with fear anytime we are with other people. Okay that is all I have to say. Thanks...
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Jenna has issues with being shy too. In fact, most of the time, the kids that she is friends with initiate the friendship. She rarely speaks when spoke to by adults (which is another issue!) and she takes a while to warm up to other children.
Jenna is shy and has personal space issues where she doesn't like to be overwhelmed with overbearing and touchy children. She hurts the other kids feelings a lot because of that. She has a desire for friendship and acceptance, we aren't sure how to help her best. Steve and I decided that we would talk about what a good friend is casually and during FHEs and stuff, and pray about what we could do to help her. We also thought that telling her when she is being a nice sister may help, "you are such a good friend to Zac". Anyway, their situation is of course a bit different because they are different kids. I do have an idea that may or may not help Sariah... what about playdates. Maybe you could invite that little girl to your home for 1 1/2 hours after school, have something planned for them to do and see how it goes. You can be the facilitator. This may give your Sariah some confidence in herself on her own turf, with her biggest fan, her mom, there for support. Maybe a weekly playdate with a child in your home would help her, whether it be someone from church or school.
I think playdates is the answer too! I would talk to the little girls mom and explain the situation and then ask if she would let her daughter come and play for a few hours! And...Carson would love to play with Sariah anytime. She seems to not be shy around him. Maybe that would help too!
Well... I'm not a mom, but I when I read this, I also thought of inviting them over. You could even invite the girl that Sariah thinks doesn't like her. If they are at YOUR house, she will be more comfortable. It sounds like she wants to talk to them, and it's so frightening when you are at that age. Sarah... I was like Sariah when I went to preschool. In fact, you can ask Mom about it. I hated going because I had no friends. I remember it. I remember sitting there by the toys and there were two kids I would go with and I wanted to play with so bad but I didn't feel included. It was so hard. I cried and cried and finally, angrily, my Mom took me out of preschool. I remember that though. I was so shy in school. When I got into kindergarten I had a really hard time too. I remember them taking me to Nicole's class to sit with her because I was scared and shy. I felt all alone. I played fine with the neighbor kids, but they weren't my age. It kind of reminds me of Davey and Sariah. She plays GREAT with him. Those two have this incredible connection, which is really awesome (I think they were friends in the pre-existence). I think maybe inviting both the girls over would be good because she will need to feel comfortable and "break the ice" with both of them to feel comfortable around them at school- ya know. It sounds like they hang around each other a lot at school. Do something fun, like making necklaces or bracelets. That usually seems to connect girls. I don't know. Like I said... I'm not a parent, but I was just like Sariah in school. I guess the good news is that you grow out of it. Look at me now. I just spend my time annoying people. No would probably ever believe I was so shy and deathly afraid of people. But I was. Now people just want me to shut up. I can come down and join the play date and chase them around, that seems to break the ice. LOL! Just kidding. Sar... you are an amazing Mom! I love ya!
I would invite both friends over to play and observe them. If you notice them singling her out. I would talk to them and explain how much fun it can be to have two friends (making three) then just one.
You could also talk to the Moms of the two girls and explain your problem and see if they would be willing to help by talking to their daughters.
Just a suggestion. I feel so bad for her. She is horrified and just needs a little encouragement from her little friends. Mostly to trust them.
I guess I should have read the other comments. Oh well. It looks like we all have the same suggestion.
I agree with what the other women said. That really must be really hard as a mom to watch your daughter to go through that. I guess trying to think of ways to help teach her a lesson through this about being nice and including others. My first thought was.....darn girl are so drama...put gum in their hair Riah!!! hehe
Hey, Sarah!
Haven't seen you in forever. I think a playdate is a good idea, but I would probably try one at a time. See how that goes and then maybe do both girls. Sometimes if we have a few kids over, someone can still get left out.
Hey Sarah,
I went private with my blog a long time ago and I don't know if you are able to open it. Are you? If not, I would love to give you permission but I don't have your email address. Your kids are so dang cute!! And, Happy belated Birthday. I always remember your birthday. My email is marihshaw@gmail.com.
I worry about Lexi having this same problem when she gets in school. She is very shy as well so this was good for me to read. Thanks! You will have to let me know what works!
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